1) The Special Day – everything, yes everything hinges on “The Day”. If you select a spring wedding, allow for rain; summer’s contenders may be oppressive heat, autumn dates are subject to blustery billows of mayhem and winter weddings can become frozen nuptial popsicles. ~~~ Date selections can be based on romantic “first met moments” or practical options, such as planning around work. ~~~ Talk openly and honestly with your partner and wedding planning participants. Brainstorm resolutions for any possible contentions your selected date may bring. If your budget allows for heated tents in a snow covered forest; then go ahead with that dream winter wedding.
2) Get to Know Your Vendors – As weddings become increasingly more detailed, the introduction of wedding planners has risen to the ranks as a must have. Planners should be interviewed by you and you should feel completely comfortable with their persona, methodologies and styles. As with ‘project managers’ in construction, a good wedding planner will be your go to person for almost everything. Keep in mind, a great wedding planner will give you the opportunity to meet with each vendor providing services on your special day. The choice to meet them is yours, but you should be encouraged to do so.
Your instincts play a pivotal role in these meetings. Do you feel you are being treated with respect? How is the communication and rapport between your wedding planner, yourself and the vendor? Did they come to the meeting prepared? Did they take superfluous phone calls in your presence? ~~~ As the process progresses, you want to know that Joe’s Linens is going to be committed to delivering the crisp white linens you chose rather than Pereolli’s Eatery fire red tablecloths and napkins (don’t ask!!)
3) Speaking of Color – Weddings instantly evoke imagery; imagery filled with our personal color preferences. Determining the palette for your special day should include several factors. ~~~ What are the surrounding natural colors of your venue? Keep in mind fixed items like flooring, wall color etc. Are you striving to compliment or contrast? How well does the preferred color wave look in the venue’s lighting? Take into account the size, shape and layout of your venue. ~~~ If you and your beloved can decide wholeheartedly on one thing, such as flower COLOR, wedding invitation COLOR, bridal party COLOR, linen COLOR, etc then let that selection be your building block; the foundation for each item after – by doing so, the overwhelming options which present themselves will instantly be narrowed; allowing you to be stress free.
4) Venue – the origin of the word comes from the late 16th century (denoting a thrust or bout in fencing; also in the Law sense): from Old French, literally ‘a coming’, feminine past participle of venir ‘come’ from Latin venire. Oh my! (another blog post in it’s own right!) Basically a venue is your chosen spot/facility/house or barn/field/boat (or planet, perhaps, one day) where you have decided to hold your wedding day.
Getting the right ‘vibe’ or ‘feel’ is largely relies on your venue. A disco themed costume wedding, filled with ’80’s music and glittering dance balls probably will not embrace an ancient cathedral. Be aware of contrasting and complimentary options. Certain interplay of styles can be carried off marvelously; such as farmhouse glam. ~~~ Style dichotomy aside; be practical and assure the number of guests attending can be comfortably accommodated. Give thought to accessibility; for your vendors and deliveries, also.
5) Makeup, Hair, Shoes, Dress, Jewels – Bride, know thy self. Leave the fairytale Cinderella styles at the castle gate if you are a bohemian farm girl. In turn, do not acquiesce to the vestiges modern haute couture if you pine for billows of lace and tulle. Trends are meant to inspire; they should never become mandates. From your hairstyle to your choices in footwear; make sure you are comfortable! When you look in the mirror, do you see someone else? If so, you are on the wrong fashion path. You should be seeing the best vision of YOU. Sizing, sizing, sizing – let that repeat in your head like ‘Marcia, Marcia, Marcia’! Fashion designers around the world agree; no matter the measurements of a woman, a properly fitted garment can make her look stunning.
Shoes, (ok, Poetic Pastries could write an entire blog on shoes – but I digress …) Challenge yourself to wear those 3 inch heels at home for as long as your wedding day event(s) will actually be. If you can’t stand the atmospheric pressure, it may be wise to opt for something more comfortable. Changing your shoes, regardless of whether or not you change into a reception outfit is perfectly acceptable.
Makeup is not synonymous with being made-up. The individual who ‘styles’ you on your blessed day, should allow the glow of your happiness to radiate without masking. “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” said Coco Chanel. For makeup to be effective it must be adeptly applied. Makeup should echo your quirks, it should camouflage only when absolutely necessary and always flatter. Experiment with makeup and hairstyles long before the wedding day, this is not the time for surprises. Narrow down your choices even further when your wedding gown is chosen. Best practices are to literally dress the part from top to bottom. You can get pre-wedding photographs taken or simply check mirrors (360 and magnification). Be the best of you – and smile! ~~~ Jewels ~ if you love them, go for it; but remember you aren’t playing the role of a glitter bomb. Tasteful bits of sparkle and bling should add to the radiance illuminating your face. Anything more will distract from the total package of bridal wow-ness you have strived to achieve.
6) Flowers – My dear friend is a florist by trade. Her floral masterpieces are SWOON worthy. She states, regrettably, brides to be, often put off the florist as the last vendor. The problems and costs this creates can be reduced, if the wedding flower selection begins early. It goes without saying, if you show up a week before your wedding on Valentine’s day and want your local florist to deliver dozens upon dozens of roses … you will be competing with men everywhere! (we hope, anyway lol) But, if in the fall the previous year, you made arrangements to have these flowers, your florist would happily amend their ordering quantity; allowing both you and Mr Abernathy to bask in the sweet aroma of blooming roses.
Another professional tip; florists delight in seeing brides bring inspiration with them; if you have selected anything at this point, i.e. color palette, invitations, dresses etc – bring them. More and more brides are saving ‘pins’ and creating Pinterest boards. It is perfectly acceptable to share these ideas with your florist (this recommendation applies to every vendor).
7) Papier, Ephemera, Invitations – Modern times have incorporated a plethora of stationery designed specifically for weddings and surrounding events (engagement announcements, wedding planners, save-the-date cards, wedding invitations, rsvp cards, table numbers, placeholders – nametags for seating, bulletins, memory cards, guest books, thank you cards; are but a few). These paper gems should reflect the essence of your wedding day style. Our wedding invitations and other event papier are thoughtfully designed; couples can be be confident each Poetic Pastries Studio selection they make, represents their personality, from fonts to form … colors to collections; your wedding, your way!
8) Music and Seating – If you aren’t going to be happy with Pereolli’s linens, daresay their choice in heritage Italian bands is not going to meet the needs of your Gaelic inspired festivities. Know your niche, talk to the musical group’s representative. Listen to them play your chosen instrumentals or hear them sing your special event songs; BEFORE the wedding. Wrong song, wrong name, crooned to the wrong person. Don’t let your wedding day be hit with the blues of a bumpy note.
Now, that you have corralled the tunes; let’s take a moment to talk about guest seating. Not every family has a Hatfield and McCoy scenario, but there may be a cousin or sibling who has issues with another; or perhaps a divided/separated/divorced set of guests will be attending. Keep apprised as much as possible to the underlying facets of your family’s relationships. Nuance the seating for all aspects of the event, shower parties, rehearsal(s), the wedding day and the reception. During these activities, play your role as the gracious hostess bride; by visiting with your guests, moving about, outwardly carefree, you will be able keep your eyes and ears open – should anything be simmering on the surface; you now have created the opportunity to squelch it – asap.
9) Be Honest – Relay to your wedding planner or/and any vendor(s) your honest assessment/opinion/capability/willingness regarding budget. The detrimental impact of over spending on a wedding can last for months (if not longer); it can cause a rift between the newly wed couple or tension within families. No bride and groom want to return from their honeymoon with a stack of bills; a fiscally mis-managed wedding is not a good start. Comprise and frugality are not four letter words.
10) Say No – With your joyful day being the buzz, endless well wishers will be offering tips, (like Poetic Pastries Studio)! Our goal, (including your beloved dear old Uncle Ed’s) is to share, what we believe, is helpful information. Dispensed in the hopes you can create the wedding of your dreams. But, Uncle Ed’s idea of having bbq whilst you are adorned in your ivory ensemble, may not be to your liking. Ever so graciously ‘thank” each person who has made your upcoming day the hot topic; listen to them in all earnest. Savor the caring. Choose those insights which your stir soul. For those that are less than appetizing; you need not indulge.
11) Thank You – The tide subsides; the wedding day will have come and gone. You and your beloved are now looking at wedding photos; placing heartfelt gifts throughout your new abode. The wedding clock rings the hour of ‘gratitude’. Take this precious moment and write a thank you to Uncle Ed. “Dear Uncle Ed, thank you for being a part of our special day! We also wanted to tell you how much we appreciated your wedding bbq idea. You will be pleased to know that our first dinner party will be a bbq; inspired by you!” …. Poetic Pastries Studio believes kindness is a gift that costs nothing but one which lingers a lifetime. Ponder these words written in 1876 by English Professor Westlake “Take pains; write as plainly and neatly as possible; rapidly if you can, slowly if you must. Good writing affects us sympathetically, giving us a higher appreciation both of what is written and of the person who wrote it. Don’t say, ‘I haven’t time to be so particular’ Take time or else write fewer letters and shorter ones.” Thank you cards act as a sweetener to the souls of both the sender and the recipient. We believe that etiquette should be a must; never an after thought.
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